Pretty Girl has Issues

Looks can be deceiving… If I never agreed with that saying before I definitely agree now.

I was at the bus stop in Trees waiting on a coaster bus to go home from work. As per usual the area is crowded and I’m trying to find the most strategic location to stand so I wouldn’t have to push and shove to get into the bus when it eventually arrive.

A young woman came to stand beside me. She was dressed in a business suit and her long processed hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Very quietly she stood there in her 5 inch heels waiting (as everyone else was) for the bus to come. With her professional attire, her seemingly quiet demeanour and her good looks I thought “hmmm… this is a nice young lady”.

When the bus came it stopped right our feet, Lucky us right? We sat in the seats right behind the driver and I put my earphones in and turned my music on. The bus picked up the usual ‘200’ persons (although it is only licensed to carry 30) and we set off on our way to Portmore. As we approached the toll road the conductor made his usual announcement “all fares please.”

Everything was seemingly ok, passengers were all handing over their money and then it all changed. The lady beside me made no move to go into her handbag or purse or pocket or bosom or whatever… she just sat there. The conductor asked for the “other person pon the front” to send the fare over but even then she didn’t budge. He asked again, louder this time. This time she responded very quietly “me nuh have none.”

“Weh u say?” asked the conductor, with a puzzled look on his face.

“Me nuh have no money,” she replied, without even looking up.

The conductor started shouting, “Look ere ooman, if u nuh have u fare me ago lef u pon the toll! Me tired a it now! everyday unuh come dress up pretty an caa pay fare! It naa go work!!”

Of course everybody is now looking at the subject of the conductor’s fury. With all eyes on her she’s obviously embarrassed and decided to respond. That’s what shocked me and probably everyone else on the bus.

Remember when we first saw her in Trees? Professional attire, seemingly quiet demeanour? … well now we can forget all of that and replace it with a woman shouting “dutty suck p***** beep beep beep ductor, if me nuh f***ing ave di blood  beep beep beep beep money weh me fi get it from…”

*Aside… pinch me cause this nuh real! How she transition so fast??!!

“Weh u waa me fi do eh bwoy, tek it outta me beep beep beep p***y an give yuh…” she continued.

All this time I sat there looking at her through the side of my crossed eyes wondering what happened to the woman I was sitting beside all along and where the hell this woman came from.

The argument continued until the bus got to Portmore mall, where the woman came off, told the conductor a few more choice words and walked away. As she walked away the lady who now occupied the seat she was sitting in made a remark that I found very fitting “Pretty girl has issues…”




2 comments on “Pretty Girl has Issues

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