I’m not crazy… I promise. But sometimes I find it is good to have a conversation with myself, to shut the world off for a few moments and just think. Today was one of those sometimes.
You see, I’m at that place in life where I’m still regretting not doing a lot of things I wanted to do for various reasons over the past few years and I seem to be caught between a place of blaming others for some of the decisions I made and being fearful about my future because of it. I love those pictures that people always post saying “I have no regrets about life because everything that has happened made me who I am today” but I’m just not there yet. I want to be but I’m not.
I have always been super cautious and the entire world seems to admire this about me… well the entire world except me. Some days I want to throw caution to the wind and just Do! Just Live… unfortunately these are usually the days that my bank account tells me to sit the f**k down or a utility company emails me my upcoming bill. But you get what I mean.
I find that I’m still asking God why me even though I have tried to take the approach of why not me…. So today I took a few minutes, put my headphones on and blasted a YouTube playlist of P!nk’s awesome songs. I tried to find my center, my inner peace while I had a conversation with myself.
I find that conversation was necessary so I could remind me to focus on my goals and continue trying to forgive myself for past mistakes while learning from them for the future.
As I said… I promise I’m not crazy but sometimes you have to have a small conversation with your self.